SO I've been under a lot of stress lately and it's been because of my little angel, Mya. As of right now she is playing the I don't want to sleep EVER game and in turn I don't get any sleep either and if you know me I LOVE SLEEP and on top of all of that I am a stay at home mom right now. Which means I am with her 24/7! But anyway that's not the reason for my post today. I know she is just going through a toddler phase and she will be back to sleeping in no time! :-) So here goes... Ever since the day I laid eyes on my little girl my world has changed completely. A lot of things that didn't bother me before hurts my soul now. I can admit that I'm a mess when it comes to her and what happens to her.( For example Mya got her shots a couple of days ago and I honestly wanted to slap the doctor because she kept trying to find my baby's vein to draw blood by moving the needle in and out of the same hole while my baby is crying her little heart out!!!) If there is harm coming her way you better believe that I will be there to make sure she is well. But some days I can't help but to ask myself why in the world do people have kids?! They are annoying, needy, and when you need some type of outlet or freedom they smash those moments of zen to bits! I feel so bad every time these feeling come up but when she screams all day, scratches me, and climbs on me like I don't exist I just want to disappear into my happy place which is anywhere that she is not. Is this normal?? Don't get me wrong I love her so much, I didn't think that the kind of love I carry in my heart for her could ever exist but IT DOES! Sometimes I get angry at myself because there are women out there that are trying everything in the world to have what I have, and I can do is complain and get upset. SO... To the mothers out there do you feel the same way or am I selfish? If you do feel the same way how do you deal with it and find your moments of zen?
By the way: I've just finished watching the second episode of Private Practice where two families just found out that there babies were switched at birth. One baby is dying and the other is healthy and due to the law they have to re switch the babies so I am quite emotional right now even though I'm still mad that I've only had 2 HOURS OF SLEEP. :-(
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