It's been a minute

Hi Everybody,

It's been a while since my last blog huh? Well I really haven't had too much to say that I felt I should air out in the open. Most of my thoughts and issues have been very private and I choose to keep them that way until I guess I feel like the time is right. But until now I will continue to write when what I feel is burning a hole in my chest and I can't keep it in. It's been a very rough road here in California and honestly I'm ready to kick Cali to the curb and move on to the next chapter (i.e. next state). I want to leave here so bad I don't think I would mind if I had to walk to my next destination. Yea that was exaggerated but you get the picture! But what I can say is that I've learned a lot since being here and I am grateful for that. The one thing I've truly learned is to DO YOUR RESEARCH!!! I WISH I would have known how much this state SUCKS when it comes to finding a job! I've been here for almost a year and the only job I've been able to get is a two day a week tutoring position that pays me what I made it college! Yeah you read correctly. ME…the girl with TWO degrees working for college pay. At first I was super pissed but then I learn to appreciate the smaller things in life because something is better than nothing. I actually laugh at the fact that the “great state” of California gave me my credentials to teach here but yet they are not hiring any new teachers including those that have graduated from California education programs!!!  Can we say WASTE OF MONEY! Yea so that's what has been burning me up for the duration of my time here in this wonderful ** insert eye roll here ** state. Oh yea back to the learning I've done here. I've also truly learned that stuff happens. You can prepare yourself for the life you expect to have but if it's not in God's plan you are going to be in a whirlwind of hurt and pain. Which is where I've been since moving to this Illustrious ** insert what I really want to say here** state. I figured that since I have my Master's degree and was getting ready to work on a Doctorate pretty soon that hey, I am on a roll and they would be crazy not to hire me especially with my extensive background in reading, one of the most important skills of your LIFE!! But sadly not everyone thinks like me. I've been turned down left and right. There is this one school district here that has turned me down so much I'm pretty sure they know me by name and face now. So with that being said I never intended on my life being this way ESPECIALLY with the big 30 coming up soon. But I am trying really hard to rest in the fact that there are some blessings coming our way. Oh yea I did say our, that means the man I call my husband is still here (Hi Teej love you....MEANT IT) LOL. Also, I’m realizing that faith isn’t something that comes easy to me. I’ve always worked with the logical and concrete. I didn’t realize how much I relied on my own understand of how things work and not on God. That probably sounds bad but it’s the truth. I didn’t I gained faith until the move here and even now it’s still REALLY hard. I guess it’s true that old habits die hard. SO, to end this post I really didn’t have any questions to ask. It’s not like anyone is really answering them any way.  All I will ask is that you pray for my strength. Some days are better than others but all in all I must give praises to God for the life that I do have. Last thing before I leave and not write another post for like a year LOL, I came up with this I guess aphorism in my sleep one night and it stuck with me so I guess I’m meant to share it with someone. My aphorism is: Today is another beautiful day in God’s world. Live, Love, and Embrace it. J Easy to say yet sometimes hard to do but I am putting forth a better effort at it. Thanks for reading! See ya!

My walk with CHRIST

 Hello everyone I have an announcement to make. I am letting go. I am letting go of myself and my expectations of my life and giving it all to God. I've skated this line long enough and I always did just enough, but not anymore. I've completely given my life over to Christ Jesus. I've been through a lot in my short life time and I've always lived my life off what I feel others will think of me and what I do but no more. I've tried to solve my problems my way and interpret my trials and tribulations my way and it has gotten me NO WHERE fast. The missing piece to my life is Him and He is who I choose. I am in the process of being reborn and will I fall? Yes! I don't expect that just because I gave my life over that I will be perfect but I will continue to surround myself with positive people to keep me on my with God. Yes I will change, My walk will change, my talk will change, my attitude will change, and I gladly except that. My husband and I decided that we needed to take this walk together because we have an obligation to our daughter to teach her how to be a God fearing young lady, and she can't learn that if her parents the most important people in her life, don't provide her with examples. We also decided to take this walk together because we are obligated to each other to be the best we can be for one another. We haven't been the best at that and we both agreed to make that change. Those of you who personally know myself and my husband just know that those two people have died and 1 person is emerging. Thanks in advance for all of your support and love. :-)

New, Natural, Me: Hello World! :-)

New, Natural, Me: Hello World! :-): Hello all! So I've been gone for a couple of months and it's all out of discouragement. I figured that if I don't have any subscribers, why...

Hello World! :-)

Hello all! So I've been gone for a couple of months and it's all out of discouragement. I figured that  if I don't have any subscribers, why write my life? But I had to remember how good it felt to just talk and get things out no matter what it is. So here is an update :-) I did purchase the Exederm baby skincare line for my daughter. As I stated before she has super sensitive, dry, and itchy/flaky at times skin. I purchased the baby oil, baby bath, lotion, and cream. To me it didn't do anything special. After using all of the products  for about  a month or so, I didn't see any change in Mya's skin. She still itched and her skin was still dry. The only thing I like about it was that none of  it irritated her skin. So back to the drawing board it is.

Also, I am 6 months into my natural hair transition. It's weird because I thought by now I would be screaming for a relaxer but my natural hair is actually softer than my relaxed hair. The one thing I am absolutely falling in love with is my curl pattern. The longer my natural hair gets the more my coils start to define themselves. I LOVE IT! It makes me want to cut my hair NOW but I did set a one year goal and I'm going to TRY to stick to it. Plus I already know who I want to let " Big Chop" my hair.

Lastly, I have to say that I fell off the "loving me wagon." I find it very hard as a mother ( and let me be real a wife too.) to take care of me. I have so many goals for myself and I can't seem to accomplish them. During a recent girl's night, my girls and I all completed our own 2012 vision boards which I have posted in my bedroom. This is my first time creating one and I'm looking forward to crossing things off my board that I've accomplished. To me the only problem I have is MOTHERHOOD & WIFEDOM LOL I am constantly thinking about and doing things to make Mya and my husband happy to the point that I will drop anything for them and I don't make time for myself and  in a lot of ways that hasn't been good. I'm not making excuses for myself( or maybe I am) but starting today and not because it's a new year, I am going to start loving me just a little bit more. Soooo, to the people out there that view my blog postings this question is for you.

What do you do to show yourself l ove? Thanks for reading! :-)